Want a little boost?
Check your Akismet spam folder.
No, seriously. Spam is my new happy drug.
Apparently I am beautiful, brilliant, the most wonderful stumbled upon blog person with SEO problems on the planet. I also attract perfectly strange men who want to sell me purses, marry me, and “buy bunnies” whatever that means (if it’s gross, please don’t tell me what it means).
All of these men are excitingly living in far off places, and have a host of worldly possessions other than high speed internet connection (though really, I would probably consider high speed internet in the “win” column, given I live in an area where it isn’t decent internet). Their broken English undoubtedly comes with a nice little accent that is for obviously going to woo me into luv.
Look, I love my real commentators. You are lovely engaging people who seem to “like” most of the stuff that I’m not necessarily super excited or confident about, which gives me this genuine feeling of love and support and community, because it’s like all of you are saying “we know you tried hard, and we appreciate it.” But you are a fancy date with proper flatware and a waiter in a tie.
You can hate on spammers, especially when they are filling up your actual comment threads, but when they live in their own little petri dish of the spam folder, that I can choose to open whenever I wish they serve a lovely purpose of perking up. Because you are a perfectly romantic date- and they are the semi-homeless guy catcalling while I walk by on my way to the club on a Friday night.
It’s just nice to hear someone noticed, every once in a while.
Luv u guise!