Single Girl Questions

If I drink my whisky straight will you think I’m too hard nosed in blue jeans?  Or will a skirt do to allay those fears?  If I use my fork and knife correctly am I too pretentious and unAmerican?  Will the heels that push me past 6 foot emasculate you?  Will eating carbs look fat?  Does my a** look fat in these pants?  Can I wear pants on the first date?  The second date?  The third date?  When can I wear a baseball hat?  Does having a condom make me look fast?  Or prepared?  Does the fact I don’t belong to a political party make me seem disengaged?  Or smart?  Is it okay that sometimes I am disengaged?  Does my English degree seem too girly?  Are my boots too masculine?  How much eyeliner is too much?  How little is too little?  Can we just eat in a nice resturant- is that too much to ask?  And can it have napkins and silverware, and not wheels underneath it?  Can you hold my hand?  Can I hold yours?  Can you not kiss me on the first date?  Can I kiss you on the first date?  Where is this going if you have a cat and I’m allergic?  Do you mind that I hate my job?  Do you mind if I actually like to shop?  Am I too much of a princess to want to stand in the rain to see a bad movie?  Could you put your phone down?  Is my phone really something you can judge me by?  Did you just stick your fingers in your water glass?  Do we have to see the romantic comdey?  Can I talk about super heros without being too much of a dork?  Can I hide my dorkiness forever- no wait- can you live with this level of dorkiness?

Because that is the real question…

 

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