I wish I were a better friend. I wish that I knew how to fix everything when you walked away. That I knew how to support you through these hard years. Because these last few years have been hard, and I know that, and I’ve stood by, unable the find the words to express my love for you. I wish I could have known Mr. Nebraska before you married him- and celebrated your wedding and marriage and happiness together. I wish I could have been crying with you when everything fell apart, and laughing with you when it started to turn right again, and watching horror movies in the middle of a random Friday night with you during all the in-between times.
But wishes get us nothing. They create a nostalgia for something that’s not there. And while it’s a lovely game to play, sometimes the thought is not all that counts. Sometimes the act is more important.
I just don’t know how to act. So this is my whispered prayer:
May you see this, and know you are loved. May you see this, and know you are missed. May you see this and be stronger than me, and ready to act. And if you don’t, or aren’t, or need something else in your life, may you know that I am always here.
My number hasn’t changed.
XOXO Sarah Mae