Dear Facebook Friends

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They say Facebook is troublesome for this:

We watch one another proclaim the greatness in our lives.  The weddings, babies, promotions, amazing meals and grand celebrations.  It’s easy to become jealous of that- to want just that- the greatness.  The trouble, supposedly, is that the other stuff, the real life heart and gut wrench reality.

Family who can’t attend the wedding.  Babies who never come to exist.  Being passed up for promotion, again.  Eating out of the pot, because you’re too tired to get a plate.  The hunger, brokeness, crying, sleep deprivation.

The truth is, I’m glad I dont see all of that from you.  I’m glad in my mind you are happy, and smiling, and a little photoshopped in all the right places.  I’m glad your laundry isnt piled up like mine, your degrees are completed with honors, your art is selling well, and the band you love is playing in your town.  I like to think of you that way- happy, enthusiastic, encouraged and loving life.

My IRL friends, they know the truth of my life- the disappointments, and annoyances and horrors of chores.  But you and I, we get to live in la-la land together.

And that’s a sort of blessing, isn’t it?

XOXO Sarah Mae

I’ve committed to writing 30 letters in 30 days, according to the 30 Day Letter Challenge.  To learn more about my project, check out my introduction.

Dear Baby Rosenfeld

For you I pray.  You haven’t appeared in this world yet, though you are dearly missed in our arms.  I can’t imagine what it will be like- to face this much love as you enter this world, but I promise you, we’ll keep it up.  You have been loved for years, though your parents have only been married one.  You are loved, and you are going to be loved, but that does not mean we will make your life easy.  This I can promise you too:

  • You will get a nick name.  You will have no choice in said nick name.  We will call you by it in the most embarrassing public situation possible.  We love you.
  • Stories from your childhood, from before you acquired complex critical thinking skills will be retold.  Often.  To prospective sexual partners. We love you.
  • We will not like your first five boy/girlfriends.  This will have nothing to do with your gender, orientation, or them.  This is to teach you to defend your choices, and to choose better.  We love you.
  • There will be yelling.  At the table.  For no reason.  You will not be allowed to crawl under said table.  You will learn to yell back.  We are loud people.  We love you.
  • Your mother will insist on using a coupon.  She will dump the all contents of her suitcase sized purse onto the table looking for this coupon while the waiter impatiently waits.  This is a family tradition.  We love you.
  • There will be 35 people at your high school graduation.  We will force you to trade favors for tickets.  We will shamelessly bawl the whole time.  We love you.
  • You will mention once a preference for a candy/animal/artist/subject.  We will purchase said item 10,000 times for the collection you never meant to have.  We love you.
  • We will build traditions around you.  Stand in support for the little things.  Celebrate the big things.  Give you your first drink.  Take you camping, to DisneyLand, to summer camp, to Oregon and Washington and London.  We will call to check up on your maths tests, and let your best friend come on family vacation, and dance at midnight before letting you play hooky from school.  You will love us.

And I can’t wait.

XOXO Aunt Sarah Mae

I’ve committed to writing 30 letters in 30 days, according to the 30 Day Letter Challenge.  To learn more about my project, check out my introduction.

To the Former Girls of Troop 45487


You’ve drifted away into the world without us.  I get it.  I do.  I was young once too.  I understand that your interests changed, you were given the choice between scouts and sports and band and the million other options that young people have today.  For some of you, you didn’t like the expectations placed on you.  You didn’t like the cause and effect of rules and consequences.  Others simply moved away.  Some of you never want to go into the woods or a crafting session or see another cookie again in your lives.

I get it.

But see, scouting to me is more than that stuff.  So here’s some things I hope you learned in your time with Troop 45487.

  • To define your values
  • To represent and defend your values
  • To live by the Girl Scout Law and Promise
  • To leave no trace in the world
  • To leave your mark in the world
  • To compromise
  • To create
  • To celebrate
  • To work hard, and push through the pain
  • To sympathize with those with less than you
  • To empathize with the human condition
  • To serve the world faithfully, regardless of your faith
  • Table manners
  • Knife safety
  • To put up a tent
  • To survive in the rain, snow, and sun without complaint
  • To cook, clean, and care for yourself
  • To make friends
  • To make mentors
  • To be a mentor
  • To do what you love
  • And defend what you do

They say, “Once a Girl Scout, Always A Girl Scout” and I dont know if that’s true… but I promise you, I’ll always be your leader.

XOXO Miss Sarah

I’ve committed to writing 30 letters in 30 days, according to the 30 Day Letter Challenge.  To learn more about my project, check out my introduction.

Dear Readers (An Open Letter to You)


Today’s letter is supposed to be to “Someone you wish could forgive you,” and I don’t have anyone who fits that critera, so I want to tell you why.

Forgiveness isn’t about the transgression.  It isn’t about the trespasser.  It is about the person who must bear the hurt.  You see, forgiving me doesn’t change me.  It may assuage guilt, but really my emotion of the situation is irrelevant if you’re the one who was injured.

Because of this, I want everyone to forgive me.  I want everyone I’ve ever hurt to be able to release that pain, to return themselves to whole, because there is nothing I can say or do to close that gap and set things right.  I want those around me to be okay, to be free of injury and insult that I, and anyone else, may have inflicted upon them.

And so if you are one of those people that I’ve hurt- I am sorry.  And I pray for you.  I pray that you are able to come to peace with what I’ve done, for your own sake- because my guilt is my own, just as your pain in yours.

XOXO Sarah Mae

I’ve committed to writing 30 letters in 30 days, according to the 30 Day Letter Challenge.  To learn more about my project, check out my introduction.

Dear Ex

I want you to know I don’t hate you.  I’m not angry, or sad, or even disappointed anymore.  I understand your choices, and I appreciate that you made them when you did- because I was too in love to see the truth of the situation.

We would have never been happier than those months before.  There was no more up.  You wanted to be young, free, play the games you hadn’t yet- and I already had.  You will forever want to be an explorer- a reverse Columbus, adventuring East.  But I’ve seen the world, and while it’s fun to travel and trek, the place I truely want to be is home.  I can build a home anywhere- you taught me that- as long as the person next to me wants to be there too.

I owe you thanks for that, and so many other things.  Thanks for four years of a well spent youth.  Happiness, adventures, life lessons, friends.  An unabashedly enthusiastic family, a place to fly my geek flag, the chance to fail.  Thank you for the stories, and the love and the opportunity to learn just what I needed for me.

I’m sorry that we haven’t been better friends the last few years- but I’m glad I still get to call you a friend.  Call next time you’re in town.  We’ll shoot the breeze.

And maybe some tequila.

XOXO Sarah Mae

I’ve committed to writing 30 letters in 30 days, according to the 30 Day Letter Challenge.  To learn more about my project, check out my introduction.

Dear Arizona Mom

Arizona Mom, Bethany Grace, Fairy God Mother, c.2008, Las Vegas

There’s a million things you’ve missed already.  A million and one.  And when I think about it, it makes me want to cry, and it makes my heart break, and it makes me smile, because you got to be there for two million and two things.

When friends lose someone, I try to be patient, because I remember.  I remember drinking the God-awful sicky sweet alcohol out of a plastic pineapple in the airport bar in O’ahu as my plane was delayed and delayed and delayed again.  I didn’t know what else to do, and you were the only one I could think of to call.  That was four years ago.  And sometimes you’re still the only one I can think to call.  And you number is still in my phone- though I’m sure someone else uses it now.

If wishes were fishes the whole world would be fed.

But that doesn’t stop me wishing.

Wishing you were here.  That you had been the one crying at Bethy’s wedding instead of me.  That you had met, and approved the marvelous man she married.  That you got to meet the one I’m seeing now.  That  you could revel in our successes, and failures with us still.  That you embarrassed us still in restaurants and begged for more visits with your children and grandchildren.

My faith say’s this is just a temporary thing- that you are there watching over us, giving us what we need to make it through day after day of life without you.  And so I want to be confident that you still see.

You will see us laugh as we take our seats in restaurants, or pull coupons from our ginormous purses.  You will see us with our lipstick for the mail box (okay, more Bethy than me, but I do rock a pick lip for work most days!).  You will see us teach our daughters how to sit in Easter dresses, and how to rock pantyhose on their heads in a grocery store, if that’s what they want to do.  You will see us sing the little birdie song to wake sleeping children.  We will bake biscuits for Christmas cookies, buy a million coloured fingernail polishes, drive around looking for the perfect Christmas tree.  We will rush our children and husbands while we’re not ready.  We will live exclusivly out of the Costco freezer case at some point, and allow each child to choose a frozen treat from there to keep on hand at all times.  We will insist on hydration and sunscreen.  We will listen to our bodies and make the doctors listen too.  We will fight anyone who thinks our kids aren’t good enough. We will make friends who become family.  We will follow our passions to help people.

And we will love.

Because you taught us to.  Until heaven-

All my love, your Sarah Mae

I’ve committed to writing 30 letters in 30 days, according to the 30 Day Letter Challenge.  To learn more about my project, check out my introduction.